Peanut Better

Lately, I've been quizzing the people around me about what apparently is a cuisine phenomenon.  Many people love hamburgers and cheeseburgers and adorn them with basic condiments like ketchup, mustard and mayonnaise.

As far back as I can remember, anytime our family slapped Bessie on the grill in 4 inch patty form, my mom has always asked for the peanut butter.  This resulted in my sister and I groaning in disgust.  PB is reserved for jelly there mom.  It took a few years for my mom to finally talk me into taking one bite of her peanut butter burger and I was instantly hooked.

Since that point, my mom and I have been outcasts at the family get togethers.  "Where's the peanut butter?"  Now I hear everyone else groan.

A few days ago, I was heading home from work and the wife and I were trying to decide what to eat for dinner.  My wife mentioned a few places, one of which we'd never dined at.  Killer Burger.  "They have a peanut butter burger there," she said.  The Nissan was turning around.  I was heading to this mysterious place in Portland where every burger comes with bacon.

I arrived and felt like I walked into an episode of Portlandia.  The non-vegan hipsters were all over the place.  I placed my order and waited...and waited...and waited.  It seemed like a long wait.  My order finally came out and I had to wait for the whole drive home to try it out.  I got home and eagerly took the first bite of the Peanut Butter Pickle Bacon Burger.  Holy hell.  Best...burger...ever.  My wife took a bite and she was hooked.  I almost called my mom.  They used CHUNKY peanut butter.  Why didn't we ever think of that?  Bacon?  Duh.  It was like I've been doing this thing most of my life and I was doing it all wrong!  Pickles!

I've been trying for nearly 20 years to turn people on to the peanut butter craze.  I've been telling my co-workers.  We discuss local cuisine in and around Portland.  I have a list going of places I need to try.  Telling stories of eating foot-sized filled donuts and vomiting myself awake.  Recently, my father-in-law challenged me to a 72oz. steak.  If I can't finish it, he'll foot the bill.  It sounds intriguing but I don't know if I can eat 4.5 lbs of meat.  I know I can, but my extreme hunger comes at the most inopportune times.

The moral of the story?  Try a peanut butter burger.  Now.