...And From Left Field

Now this is something that Nikki and I stumbled upon over at The Superficial website. It's a site that Nikki frequents to learn of all the celebrity gossip that makes my eyes roll (kind of the same way ESPN makes hers roll). Anyways we saw this entry and I just had to blog about it.

It seems that an inmate in the South Carolina prison system named Johnathan Lee Riches claims that Michael Vick stole two of his pit bulls and used them for dog fighting. After he was done with the dogs, he sold them on eBay "and used the proceeds to buy missiles from the Iran Government." He also claims that Vick stole his identity to open credit cards at PetSmart and DoggieWarehouse. Also Vick is accused of selling apparel and other merchandise bearing the name of Johnathan Lee Riches.

It turns out Riches has a history of suing famous people and places. You have to check this out.

The plaintiff asks for $63 billion backed by gold and silver to be delivered to the South Carolina Corrections Facility.

...After reading this...I really don't...I'm having a hard time...trying to understand...WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS GUY?? I know I'd be the guy in jail egging him on and telling him to make his handwritten lawsuit "look real" because that might convince the District Attorney to take the case and prosecute Michael Vick for "using drugs in school zones" and because he "subjected me (Riches) to microwave testing."

Ha.

I hope Carly gets a kick out of this.

756*

As anyone who knows me would testify in front of a grand jury, I'm somewhat addicted to sports. I'll watch almost anything sports related on television. I enjoy a good tennis match every once in awhile. There's nothing more exciting than listening to Bob Costas cover a curling match between Latvia and Pakistan. I can recite statistics that nobody in their right mind should know and I constantly drive my girlfriend crazy with every word. I give her the play-by-play of some game and she just rolls her eyes and says, "That's nice, I don't care." I often start conversations with, "did you see that game/play/fumble/dunk last night?"

So what do I think of sports' most hallowed record being broken last night amid controversy and speculation that the new record-holder has juiced himself more than Orange Julius?

Eh.

Sure, he blasts the ball 500 feet whenever he makes contact, but you have to respect the skill that Barry Lamar Bonds possesses. He has a knack for "putting the wood on the ball" that I've never seen in my 23 years. You may soon be reading about asterisks and tainted records. A few headlines on the internet proclaim Barry Bonds the new home-run king. But they also have a negative tone to them.

Move over Hank Aaron. There's a new home-run champion. His name is Barry Bonds. Like it or not.
ESPN.com

Like it or not, Bonds is the greatest hitter of my generation. I guess you are innocent until proven guilty only if you don't play a professional sport. You are guily until proven innocent. The same goes for Mike Vick (MV7), Kobe Bryant, and a handful of others. They're tossed up to the media and opponents' fans (who throw syringes) It's not fair, but not a lot of things are these days.

I don't know about you, but this picture creeps me out....Sorry Carly!

My United States of Whatever

No, this won't be a list of "My USA" where I list the people and ideas that come from the USA that make me proud to be an American. Maybe later Carly.

It's hard to imagine what it would be like to live in such a time when the country was united together to kick British ass. If you asked your average American today, they probably couldn't tell you why we celebrate the Fourth of July. Would they know who we gained our independence from? Probably not. We here south of the border just like to blow off appendages and make craters in the ground. God Bless the USA!

Why is everybody an expert pyrotechnician on the Fourth of July? My favorite event that happens during any fireworks celebration is the dud. You lit that explosive device and nothing happened...yet. Nobody wants to go near it because you never know what might happen. Most people will kick the dud to make sure it isn't going to explode. That really shows you how much people value their feet. I'd much rather blow off a hand than a foot. At least I'd be able to walk myself into the emergency room.

Our forefathers would probably be appalled to learn that even though they put their lives on the line to get away from the British, we take their crappy shows and turn them into our own crappy shows like American Idol. And now we have to live with Ryan Seacrest? Fuck that man, I'd rather pay taxes every time I took a sip of tea than watch Ryan Seacrest. Not to mention we have a British guy judging American talent? No offense, Simon, but I believe George Washington would kick you in the mouth if you told him he was a lousy singer.

We should be celebrating not only our independence, but the lives of three U.S. Presidents who have died on this glorious day in history. John Adams and Thomas Jefferson both died on America's 50th Birthday, July 4th, 1826. Five years later, James Monroe would make three Presidents to croak on our nation's proudest day. So, Mr. Clinton, Mr. H.W. Bush, Mr. Carter, be careful this Wednesday. I wouldn't worry about Dubya, nothing will end his term soon enough.

Saved by greGODen!

Yes the day has come and gone, and it was as sweet as I imagined it would be. The Trail Blazers selected Greg Oden on Thursday and also picked up some good players while dumping Zach Randolph on Isiah Thomas. Although we picked up Stevie F***chise (I wouldn't dare declare him our fran***se player...I can't even say the word.) I have a feeling that he'll never wear a Blazers' uniform, but he's still the guy who cried when he was drafted by the Vancouver Grizzlies. He cried like a bitch because he didn't want to play in Canada. I guess nobody told him they grow herb in the B.C. too. I don't want to comment too much on the rest of the roster until it's completed, but I have never been as anxious for the season to start and to watch the man in person. I can't wait until he dunks on LeBron. I'll be there to see it.

I wanted to see him on Friday at Pioneer Courthouse Square, but a sleepless night left me tired as hell and in no way wanting to get out of bed. But, from the picture below, I can tell that this guy has pumped the city full of Blazermania once again.