Your Body is a Wonderland?..Mine isn't.

If there's an event that I am guaranteed to tell everyone I know about and could possibly tell the same person two or three times, it's when somebody's body does something it normally would not do. Somebody pees their pants? Awesome! Somebody crapped in the hallway? Excellent! Somebody tore three of the four ligaments in their knee? Ouch!

I had a front row seat to one of these gems while riding the MAX on Tuesday night. You may have read an earlier blog about my "fascination" with the Metropolitan Area eXpress. I had another run-in with "The Person Who Couldn't Hold Their Liquor." (Scroll down that entry and you'll know what I'm talking about.) This one was pretty "up there" as far as sick shit is concerned. Although it's nowhere near what Carly had experienced on the Skytrain, it's still an experience. So I'm on the MAX with Nikki. It's about 11:30PM. A girl stumbles onto the train, escorted (or carried) by a gentleman who was about my age. "It's her 21st birthday," he exclaims as he plops her down into a seat. She is virtually dead except for a little groan here and there. I believe I turned to Nikki at this point and said, "she's gonna puke here in 2 minutes." Scratch that shit, it wasn't 90 seconds later and she started to pull herself forward while drooling on her own leg. "Here we go," I said as I moved my feet as far away from this girl as possible, fearing my awesome white Nikes would be abused by a bile and alcohol mix that would overcome me and make me vomit in my mouth.

As the first shots of liquored-goodness came flowing out of her mouth and hit the ground, people started to disperse! Like a damn fire alarm went off! It was madness. I got up and moved toward the door, wanting to fling myself out rather than watch. I almost grabbed my phone to take a picture, but I felt that wouldn't be fair to the poor girl who wanted to pickle her liver on her first night as a legal drunk. I'll spare my loyal readers a description of the puddle this girl was leaving not only on the floor, but in her own shoes, on the guy's pants next to her, on her clothes, etc..

Our stop was next thank God, as the foul odor of vodka and God knows what was invading the other passengers airways. I jumped off the train as it stopped, gasping for fresh air and watching the disgusted faces of the passengers who weren't quite home yet. Then Nikki and I laughed. Then she said, "I think I saw a boot come out of her," (from the Wedding Singer) prompting me to burst into laughter.

It was sheer horror and comedy all rolled into one as another memorable moment on the MAX ended.

The image below made me laugh....plus he's wearing a Hartford Whalers shirt. Honoring the Whale the only way he knows how.